LizardBot/Fishbot

Note: Some experience in the PHP programming language - which this bot is written in - is recommended for using this bot. The documentation on this site assumes that you are familiar with at least the basics of PHP (such as declaring variables, how to quote strings, etc.). That said, this is only a recommendation - if you don't know PHP at all, you are welcome to try out LizardBot, and do ask for help on our IRC channel or elsewhere if you need it.

The fishbot module essentially puts the ever-so-popular fishbot directly into LizardBot. This page is dedicated to the fishbot module. It is present in LizardBots version 6.3.0.0b (r51) and later.

Configuration and Access Control

The default state of fishbot (that is, the mode when the bot is started) is governed by the $setEnableFishbot setting in the configuration file. When TRUE, fishbot will be automatically enabled. When FALSE, fishbot will be automatically disabled. This can be temporarily overriden using the @fish-on and @fish-off commands, both of which require the mute priv (assigned to the v-trusted group by default). Obviously, @fish-on enables fishbot, and @fish-off disables it (your trigger may vary). The setting returns to its default as defined in the configuration file when the bot is restarted or the configuration file is rehashed.

Fishbot itself cannot be accessed without the fish priv, assigned to the * group by default. If fishbot is being abused, you may wish to set the group to something else (s-trusted, perhaps?).

The @fish command can be used by anyone to determine whether or not the system is enabled.

Responses

Below is the list of responses fishbot will give. The "pattern" is what fishbot looks for (in preg format) and the "response" is the response it will give. %f is the bot's nick ($nick), %n is the nick of the person giving the stimuli, %c is the name of the channel the stimuli is given in, and %1 is an argument, usually derived from a word in the stimuli. The list is divided up into two parts - messages and actions. The messages patterns are checked when the stimuli string is in the form of a standard message, and the actions patterns are checked when the stimuli is in the form of a CTCP ACTION (a /me) command. A response in italics means it is sent in the form of a CTCP ACTION.

It should be noted that the bot will only select the first matching pattern/response pair then break. In this way it is guaranteed that the bot will return no more than one response per stimuli line, and those "default" responses can be set.

Messages

Pattern	Response
/hampster/i	%n: There is no 'p' in hamster you retard.
/vinegar.*aftershock/i	Ah, a true connoisseur!
/aftershock.*vinegar/i	Ah, a true connoisseur!
/^some people are being fangoriously devoured by a gelatinous monster$/i	Hillary's legs are being digested.
/^ag$/i	Ag, ag ag ag ag ag AG AG AG!
/^(fishbot|%f) owns$/i	Aye, I do.
/vinegar/i	Nope, too sober for vinegar. Try later.
/martian/i	Don't run! We are your friends!
/^just then, he fell into the sea$/i	Ooops!
/aftershock/i	mmmm, Aftershock.
/^why are you here\?$/i	Same reason. I love candy.
/^spoon$/i	There is no spoon.
/^(bounce|wertle)$/i	moo
/^crack$/i	Doh, there goes another bench!
/^you can't just pick people at random!$/i	I can do anything I like, %n, I'm eccentric! Rrarrrrrgh! Go!
/^flibble$/i	plob
/(the fishbot has created splidge|fishbot created splidge)/i	omg no! Think I could show my face around here if I was responsible for THAT?
/^now there's more than one of them\?$/i	A lot more.
/^i want everything$/i	Would that include a bullet from this gun?
/we are getting aggravated/i	Yes, we are.
/^how old are you, (fishbot|%f)\?$/i	is older than time itself!
/^atlantis$/i	Beware the underwater headquarters of the trout and their bass henchmen. From there they plan their attacks on other continents.
/^oh god$/i	fishbot will suffice.
/^(fishbot|%f)$/i	Yes?
/^what is the matrix\?$/i	No-one can be told what the matrix is. You have to see it for yourself.
/^what do you need\?$/i	Guns. Lots of guns.
/^i know kungfu$/i	Show me.
/^cake$/i	fish
/^trout go m[o0][o0]$/i	Aye, that's cos they're fish.
/^kangaroo$/i	The kangaroo is a four winged stinging insect.
/^sea bass$/i	Beware of the mutant sea bass and their laser cannons!
/^trout$/i	Trout are freshwater fish and have underwater weapons.
/has returned from playing counterstrike/i	like we care fs :(
/^where are we\?$/i	Last time I looked, we were in %c.
/^where do you want to go today\?$/i	anywhere but redmond :(.
/^fish go m[o0][o0]$/i	notes that %n is truly enlightened.
/^(.*) go m[o0][o0]$/i	%n: only when they are impersonating fish.
/^fish go (.+)$/i	%n LIES! Fish don't go %1! fish go m00!
/^you know who else (.*)$/i	%n: YA MUM!
/^if there's one thing i know for sure, it's that fish don't m00\.?$/i	%n: HERETIC! UNBELIEVER!
/^(fishbot|%f): muahahaha\. ph33r the dark side\. :\)$/i	%n: You smell :P
/^ammuu\?$/i	%n: fish go m00 oh yes they do!
/^fish$/i	%n: fish go m00!
/^snake$/i	Ah snake a snake! Snake, a snake! Ooooh, it's a snake!
/^carrots handbags cheese$/i	toilets russians planets hamsters weddings poets stalin KUALA LUMPUR! pygmies budgies KUALA LUMPUR!
/sledgehammer/i	sledgehammers go quack!
/^badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger$/i	mushroom mushroom!
/^moo\?$/i	To moo, or not to moo, that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fish...
/^herring$/i	herring(n): Useful device for chopping down tall trees. Also moos (see fish).
/www\.outwar\.com/i	would you please GO AWAY with that outwar rubbish!
/^god$/i	Sometimes the garbage disposal gods demand a spoon
/stupid bot[!?.]*$/i	%n: Stupid human.
/fail bot[!?.]*$/i	%n: Fail human.
/good bot[!?.]*$/i	purrs at %n
/^I am the Doctor,? and you are the Daleks!?$/i	WE ARE THE DALEKS!! Exterminate! EXTEEERRRRMIIINAAAATE!
/^ping$/i	pong
/^pong$/i	pang
/^pang$/i	pung
/^pung$/i	derp

Actions

Pattern	Response
/hampster/i	%n: There is no 'p' in hamster you retard.
/^feeds (fishbot|%f) hundreds and thousands$/i	MEDI.. er.. FISHBOT
/(vinegar.*aftershock|aftershock.*vinegar)/i	Ah, a true connoisseur!
/vinegar/i	Nope, too sober for vinegar. Try later.
/martians/i	Don't run! We are your friends!
/aftershock/i	mmmm, Aftershock.
/(the fishbot has created splidge|fishbot created splidge)/i	omg no! Think I could show my face around here if I was responsible for THAT?
/we are getting aggravated/i	Yes, we are.
/^strokes (fishbot|%f)$/i	m00s loudly at %n.
/^slaps (.*) around a bit with a large trout$/i	trouted!
/has returned from playing counterstrike/i	like we care fs :(
/^fish go m[o0][o0]$/i	notes that %n is truly enlightened.
/^(.*) go m[o0][o0]$/i	%n: only when they are impersonating fish.
/^fish go (.+)$/i	%n LIES! Fish don't go %1! fish go m00!
/^you know who else (.*)$/i	%n: YA MUM!
/^thinks happy thoughts about pretty (.*)$/i	has plenty of pretty %1. Would you like one %n?
/^snaffles a (.*) off (fishbot|%f).?$/i	:(
/stupid bot[!?.]*$/i	%n: Stupid human.
/fail bot[!?.]*$/i	%n: Fail human.
/good bot[!?.]*$/i	purrs at %n
/^ping$/i	pong
/^pong$/i	pang
/^pang$/i	pung
/^pung$/i	derp